If you’re thinking about entering into the wonderful world of sugar dating, there are a few things you’ll need to ask yourself first.
Maybe you’ve looked at a few platforms or websites to try and figure out what it’s all about. Maybe you’ve got some questions of your own about how it works.
But there are a few fundamentals you’ve got to nail first. And they all come down to what you want out of a sugar dating relationship.
Below, we’ll outline three questions you need to ask yourself before becoming a sugar babe or a sugar daddy.
Why do you want to become a sugar dater?
You might think it’s a no brainer question. Usually it’s financial assistance, or, in the case of a prospective sugar daddy, to meet a beautiful woman.
But have a proper think about this. We’d actually advise writing a list on why you want to become a sugar dater. And here’s why.
If you go into the sugar dating world undecided without clear goals and objectives, you begin a process that allows the so-called “salt daddies” and “time wasters” room to manoeuvre and take advantage of you.
Ambiguity leads to uncertainty. And it’s best in sugar dating to state very clearly what you want from the outset. You can obviously only communicate this information in a direct manner if you yourself are fully aware of the answer yourself.
For sugar babes, ask: ‘is it purely for a financial reward?’ If so, what financial reward am I looking for? What am I looking to get from this experience?’
For sugar daddies, ask: ‘is it companionship? Is it because I don’t want to be alone? Do I want to engage in a sexual relationship?’
The more honest you are with yourself, the better.
- What are your boundaries?
The next question to ask is ‘what are your boundaries’? and ‘How far are you willing to go?’ This is extremely important to answer, because it requires you to look in the mirror and test your own limits.
If you want to be a sugar babe, you’ll need to ask questions like:
- Am I okay dating an older, married man, with children?
- Do you only want to date Caucasians, or are you more attracted to Asians?
- Are you looking only for financial assistance, and absolutely nothing else?
- What kind of sex will you consent to?
All of this must be considered before writing a single world of your profile.
Any lack of clarity in what you want will result in you wasting a lot of time communicating with members that are incompatible with you.
It also opens the flood gates to the time wasters that look for anything that is unclear in your profile, so that they can exploit that. For instance, if you do not make it clear from your profile or initial contact with a member that you wish to receive an allowance of a certain value, that person could use the fact that no reward has been mentioned to start exploiting you without pay you want what you want.
And the longer a situation like that goes on, the harder it will be for you to fix it.
The best advice is that you should never step outside your personal line of ethics or morality. Because you don’t have to.
- What kind of arrangement do you want?
Once you’ve answered the first two questions, then you can start thinking about what kind of arrangement you want.
A relationship based on money
Most relationships, at least from a sugar babe’s perspective, is about money. They’re looking to ease some financial burden. That might be rent, bills, support for their kids or help them getting through studies.
This being the case, you need to have assessed what level of financial assistance you are looking for. A higher allowance might dictate seeing a person more frequently than you had expected. Or, alternatively, you might choose to have more than one arrangement.
A relationship based on mutual respect
If you are a man, and want to have a relationship whereby you dominate a younger woman who follows your every command, then sugar dating is NOT for you.
As a sugar daddy, you need to be comfortable with the age of the person you are dating, and not forget that it is a mutually beneficial arrangement.
You have ethical obligations as a sugar daddy – you cannot force your sugar babe to do something that they don’t want to do. Otherwise, things will go pear shaped very quickly.
A relationship that’s exclusive
If you want an exclusive relationship with a sugar daddy or a sugar baby, then you’ll need to say this upfront.
There are many sugar babes who have multiple sugar daddies, so you can’t always assume you will be the ‘only one’.
Of course, sugar daters can become serious dating couples. But, initially, that isn’t usually what a sugar baby wants. If something naturally grows between you both, that’s great. But don’t fall into the trap of thinking that a sugar dating relationship is a regular boyfriend-girlfriend situation.
Just as a sugar daddy is free to date other sugar babes, a sugar babe is free to date whoever she likes – unless this was discussed at the very beginning and you both agreed to be monogamous.
Final words: honesty with yourself is everything
The topics discussed in this article is often overlooked. It explains why there is so much more discontentment within sugar dating than there should be.
If you want to get the most from your sugar dating experience, then you’ve got to be honest with yourself first.
By being honest to yourself about what you want, then you’ll be more likely to have a relationship that rewards both you and your sugar daddy or sugar baby.